It's Monday! That must mean it's time for stale beer and undercooked hot dogs Marmaduke! Yes, today's the day we look back at the past week of Marmaduke and the controversial things he's been doing.

Long time readers of cheesegod.com know that we first to express concern over the content of Marmaduke comics. As you can see here Marmaduke has been a little out there at times. This past week seems to be no exception. Check out these examples I clipped out this past week:

Labels: marmaduke

Do you think they put this handle here for realy drunk people so they don't fall off they're stool?

Here we have another exciting installment of everyone's favorite game show that takes place in a library.

As you know the concept is simple: Before each round cards are drawn, whoever gets the skull card gets a prank played on them. But remember, be quiet!

Labels: japan

Brook Fordyce has received many kudos from critics since he became the head program director at the FOX network. When he expanded American Idol to four and a half hours and added it to a sixth night, ratings soured. When he added the new game show Super-Hooker, critics raved. And of course there was his decision to let Seth MacFarlane make another cartoon with outdated references and no plot or story to appeal to that often forgotten mentally retarded market. But, there is one thing Fordyce just has not been able to do, cancel The Simpsons.

The Simpsons, which has been on for a mere 19 seasons has delighted many over the years, but even the writers of the show agree it's just not that good anymore.

"What, yeah, we don't really write the shows anymore," writer John Frink told us from the closet they call a writers room, "we just look back at old shows and rewrite them."

"The show hasn't been very good lately, or for the last 5 seasons even," Dr. Joe Orsulak, professor of TV studies at Joe's College Emporium, "the show should be canceled, or moved to the CW, where low ratings are all part of Dawn Ostroff's Evil plan to kick start Armageddon."

So, if the show's ratings are so low, why hasn't it been canceled?

"I know it should be canceled, alright," Fordyce told us, "I've even gone down to the Simpson's studio a couple of times to do it. But every time I look into Matt Groening's big brown eyes... well, I just can't go through with it."

Not everyone is so sympathetic. FOX owner and National Socialist enthusiast Rupert Murdoch isn't so impressed.

"Big brown eyes?" Murdoch shouted from on top of a flying centurion pony, "I'll show him some big black eyes if expenditures are not successfully cut by 1.3% by the end of the fiscal year!"

With the threat of a semi-God riding over Fordyce's head, what's keeping him from giving the show the ole axe?

"I've spent the last 20 years with those wacky yellow guys." Fordyce told us with a tear in his eye, "When Homer met his Mom I cried, when Marge became a Cop I laughed, when Lisa became a vegetarian I stopped eating meat, and when Bart became Captain Sewer Pants and saved Springfield from the attacking 80 foot Regis Philbman I was on the edge of my seat."

"They'd be fools to cancel us now," Matt Groening creator of The Simpsons, Futuarama, Life is Hell, and a foul smelling fart during this interview, "We got some great episodes coming up! There's one where Homer becomes the lead singer for Arcade Fire, we working on another episode where the family gets a horse... again, oh, and let's not forget the return of Captain Sewer Pants!"

Fordyce isn't worried though, he has a plan.

"I'll just cancel something else. I've been doing it every year. So far I've canceled Firefly, or Arrested Development, Family Guy, Futurama... 24 soon."

Labels: fox, rupert murdoch, simpsons

It's Monday! That must mean it's time for ham leftovers Marmaduke! Yes, today's the day we look back at the past week of Marmaduke and the controversial things he's been doing.

Long time readers of cheesegod.com know that we first to express concern over the content of Marmaduke comics. As you can see here Marmaduke has been a little out there at times. This past week seems to be no exception. Check out these examples I clipped out this past week:

Labels: marmaduke, spitzer

For those were are Greek out there, just come back to this exact page in one month so it's relevant.

Labels: easter

Here's a clip from Japan that is not a game show at all, how about that. Here we have a comedic sketch involving going to the ATM. It contains a Brain Age joke, so, I mean really, it has to be great!

Labels: japan

Last week I began watching a TGIF from November 1991 and logging my thoughts while doing so. Today I'm watching the second and last (thank God) half.

00:05 Here we go... Rising and Falling with Perfect Strangers.

02:01 Some blindfolded guy is smelling oranges in this commercial. Isn't that a form of foreplay from them movies on late night Cinemax.

03:33 "Birds with no feathers flock together", celebrating Mud Day... Oh Balki, will you ever learn!

07:35 "Salt, Pepper, Diamond"? Why the hell is that suppose to be funny. I wonder if the guy in charge of adding the canned laughter just added to fake yucks randomly because he figured no one would notice... he would of been correct.

09:22 "One of the Turkey's must of swallowed the ring, it's the only thing that makes sense."

10:45 I think Larry's going to kick Balki's ass. It's about time.

13:43 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: Secret of the Ooze on VHS for $22.95. There is no part of that sentence I like.

15:01 "Baby Talk" is next. Why god, why?

17:55 This guy wants to know what the "foreign boy" is doing in his home. He must be a republican.

20:04 Larry really needs some Anger Management training.

22:45 Balki just tickled a guy instead of giving him the Heimlich.

26:40 Anyone else see something wrong with a pregnancy test commercial during a show aimed towards teenagers.

30:15 Look Who's Talking just started, er I mean Baby Talk. The theme song enough makes me want to die.


30:48 Scoot Baio... If I stop posting it's because I shot myself.

31:18 This F-Zero ad might soothe me for a while.

34:01 Death, torture, horrible disease.. please, anything other than this!.

35:10 Why does Baio do the voice of the baby as well as star as some annoying ass. Who thought Scott Baio could play two rolls? Who?

37:05 A Sizzler joke! One horrible thing making fun of another. Good, maybe we could bundle all these horrible things and send 'em straight to the evildoers.

38:44 That isn't funny! I don't care when this stupid canned laughter was recorded, they should be ashamed!

43:01 Thank god, a commercial break. I've seen this Pizza Hut Feivel Goes West as about 20 times so far this last hour and
I still prefer it.

45:00 15 mintes to go... I can't make it. I hurt physically.

45:43 Scott Baio's phone is almost as big as Zack Morris'

47:34 I remember once when I was very little my brother dropped a battery on my head and I had to go to the hospital. From now on I'll look back on that moment in my life fondly.

50:13 I bet this kid is in therapy now... or, if it was as much torture for him to record this show as it is for me to watch it, dead.

53:36 I need an aspirin.

55:34 They're breaking the wishbone. I bet they're both wishing for the end of time.

56:00 The show ends on a burp. Really? Who the hell wrote this crap!


57:01 Hey, I remember this Mario commercial... I still don't get it.



57:58 "Stay tuned for 20/20" I didn't back then, and I'm not now.

Labels: baby talk, bad movies, perfect starngers, tgif

It's Monday! That must mean it's time for everyone to use St. Patrick's Day as an excuse to get drunk Marmaduke! Yes, today's the day we look back at the past week of Marmaduke and the controversial things he's been doing.

Long time readers of cheesegod.com know that we first to express concern over the content of Marmaduke comics. As you can see here Marmaduke has been a little out there at times. This past week seems to be no exception. Check out these examples I clipped out this past week:

Labels: marmaduke

In this game show contestants must catch baseballs to score points. Of course it's not quite as simple as it sounds.

Labels: baseball, japan

Earlier this month a home recorded video of T.G.I.F. from November 1991 surfaced on the internet. TGIF, for those of you not cool enough to remember was a popular block of family friendly sitcoms that would air every Friday night on ABC. It seemed like high quality entertainment back then, but that I'm older and, I'd like to think a tad bit wiser, I realize that I was an idiot back then. Anytime I flip through the channels and see a rerun of a TGIF alumni like Family Matters or Full House I want to bash my head in and cry.

For that reason I decided to see if I could make it all the way through this 2 hours of Sitcom hell. And of course I decided to share my torturous experience with you.

Since the video found online was sectioned into two parts, I decided to split my thoughts into two different parts. Today we'll be going through Family Matters (aka The Urkel Show) and Step By Step (aka "Lets do a 90's version of The Brady Bunch").




0:00 The video abruptly starts with Carl in a dress. Dear god, how am I going to make it.

2:00 About 2 minutes in when we get our first Woooooooo from the canned laugh track.

2:45 Eddie just had his friend call him a virgin, I don't remember this show being that edgy. No, I don't think that's very edgy, just more edgy than I remember...

4:15 We have Urkel!

5:48 The Winslows have a big ugly fish plate in their kitchen. Who the hell designs these sets?

7:01 Urkel just mistook Mrs. Winslow kissing Carl in drag for her becoming a lesbian. Wow!

10:30 Commercial: "The kids really like their Radio Shack electronic games" Oh, lord.



11:52 Ooo! Ben, is going to pump up the volume this Saturday on Growing Pains.

12:30 Urkel doing his best to avoid sex. Steve Urkel, the spokesperson for abstinence.

13:30 Ugh! Urkel in all leather.

14:30 Crap, Family Matters just practically made the same joke I'd write 5 years later. I feel so depressed.

18:00 What the hell is that big ugly red thing in the back of their living room.

19:05 Oh, generic sad music score. I'm gonna shed some synthesized tears.

20:20 Eddie is sportin' some nice orange pants

21:05 Family Matters just ended (sans credits). I'm 25% done. I might just make it.

22:53 Larry and Balki just alerted me to the horror that Step by Step is next. Maybe I won't make it.

23:48 Oh yeah, it's an ad for Hammerman, the MC Hammer cartoon!

25:11 It's Patrick Duffy, Scuzzlebutt's left leg.

26:32 The family is debating whether or not to get an answering machine. What the hell years was this made? 1984?

27:55 Everyone sing along now, "Step By Step, Day By Day, A fresh start.. uh... la la da ghh"

29:00 This K-mart ad makes me glad they lost the big box wars.

29:33 Another K-mart ad, c'mon.

30:06 Cody... oh god no. The inspiration for the turtle in Nemo.

31:13 Wow, this guy must of went to the Keanu Reeves acting school.

33:42 The daughter is a slut. Comedy gold!

34:13 Duffy just said he met with Kramer. That must of been the worse episode of Seinfeld ever.

35:01 A Milli-Vanila reference. I guess that must have been actually relavent in 1991.

37:05 The answering machine deletes message on it's own. Where did they buy it? I'd like one of those.

38:34 This guy has a Discman for a chest. Dear god.

39:01 "Mommy wow! I'm a big kid now!" Love that song!

41:01 Patrick Duffy almost died. Yeah I said almost. Maybe nest time.

51:00 Madnadoodle will let me doodle and undoodle.

53:03 Perfect strangers is next, can't wait.

Labels: abc, bad movies, family matters, step by step, tgif, urkel

Wow, I can't believe how fast the Reality TV machine caught up with current events! Did you see the new show that's on HBO tonight:

Labels: pimps, reality tv, spitzer

It's Monday! That must mean it's time for you to get a job Marmaduke! Yes, today's the day we look back at the past week of Marmaduke and the controversial things he's been doing.

Long time readers of cheesegod.com know that we first to express concern over the content of Marmaduke comics. As you can see here Marmaduke has been a little out there at times. This past week seems to be no exception. Check out these examples I clipped out this past week:

Labels: marmaduke

Looks like Josh wants to make me a life rock. Nice offer, but I'd like to stay in my current pre-Medusa engaged state.

Labels: email, spam

This might possibly be the most ridiculous video featured here on cheesegod.com yet, and that's saying a lot. This video was described on youtube by it's poster as "Human Tetris" and that's about as accurate as you can probably get. Enjoy!

Labels: japan

Last night before I went to bed I heard countless stories of the madness occurring at the late night caucus in Texas. Long lines around blocks, lack of ballots, places having to leave people outside because there was already so many inside they were breaking the fire code, and a general misunderstanding of how the process works. In one location they were shocked when over 200 people showed since they were only expecting 4.

With all this madness ensuing it's no wonder that when I woke up this morning only about a third of the precincts had reported their decision. But here's what I don't understand, why have 32 votes been submitted so far for 'undecided'?

Now, I don't throw the abbreviation WTF around often, but... WTF?

You know, I can see you being loyal to your candidate of choice and braving through all the chaos to make sure your voice is heard, but undecided? That's like spending millions of dollars for an ad during the Super Bowl only to just air a blank screen.

Meh, whatever. Whatever makes you feel good about yourself.

Labels: 2008 election, texas

In today's riveting cheesegod.com expose we reveal the rarest and hardest to get Girl Scout Badges. Every Girl Scout has the cooking badge, the sewing badge, the guilt tripping people into buying over priced cookies badge. But few have earned these badges:



This badge is awarded to those Scouts that use Windows Vista. But unfortunatley those that do don't want to admit it. Rumor is that even the scouts that had been rewarded this badge have traded it in for an Apple badge or a Linux badge.



In late 2007 presidential hopeful Joe Biden was so desperate for support from someone other than the two people who live in Delaware he decided to court the seldom tapped Girl Scout vote. Unfortunately even the glamor of a new badge for their chest couldn't persuade a girl scout to vote for him. Of course most girl scouts are not old enough to vote either, silly Joe.



One would think tailoring would be an easy badge to get. But for some reason every time a kid is sent to the Nike factory in South America to learn how to make clothing they never come back. So odd...



Nobody knows how this badge is earned. The only known Girl Scout who was lucky enough to receive this badge was Stacey Littlefoot of Nebraska. The story goes that anytime anyone asks her how she got it she just bursts into tears.

Labels: bill gates, girl scouts, joe biden

It's Monday! That must mean it's time for the cable news pundits to wet their pants in anticipation of tomorrow's primaries Marmaduke! Yes, today's the day we look back at the past week of Marmaduke and the controversial things he's been doing.

Long time readers of cheesegod.com know that we first to express concern over the content of Marmaduke comics. As you can see here Marmaduke has been a little out there at times. This past week seems to be no exception. Check out these examples I clipped out this past week:

Labels: marmaduke