William Swanberg, a 40 year old man from Reno, has been arrested for stealing over $200,000 in legos for Target. The United States Postal Service had to use a 40 foot tractor trailer to haul all the evidence from his house.

He has been charged with two counts of felony threat and being held on $250,000 bail.

By the way, since when does the Postal Service collect evidence?

... this is what qualifies as a front cover news story:

The wonderful New York Daily News seems to somehow think that this is front page worthy. Bush makes a dumb face every week, actually it's more like every second, why is this news? It's not. The Daily News ought to change it's name to the NY Post, because that's where it seems to be headed. The Daily News has become more tabloid than news, often featuring the latest celebrity marriage rather than anything actually newsworthy. I should probably be happy, this is the closest the Daily News gets to reporting real news. It's much better than the constant headlines about their own scratch-n-win contest they run.

Gee, I wonder why I never read news about the Daily News scratch-n-win contest in any other paper. Of course their was that time that hundreds of people "accidentally" won the contest and the Daily News refused to pay out. Now that's news.

To be fair nothing is quite as bad as the NY Post, which appears to be currently written by brain dead Nazis and is as useless as the people who read it.

Also, I hear the New York Times, which up until within the last few years was a respectable paper, featured a series of three pictures depicting Bush trying to open the door, Bush making a stupid face, and finally Bush being told the door is locked. Almost kind of like a comic strip. The NY Times never used to publish comics, but I guess they might as well do something to make it worth reading again.

Dear god have mercey on us all.

"When pizza's on a bagel, you can eat pizza anytime."

What is that suppose to mean? Does this commercial jingle imply that it's okay to eat an unhealthy food for breakfast simply because it's on a bagel?

I suppose so, after all it wouldn't be appropriate to eat a huge glob of butter, but for some reason when it's contained inside a bagel it's suddenly acceptable. It would also be unusual to eat a ton of sugar and marshmallows for breakfast, but you put them in a bowl of cereal, suddenly it's a-ok.

Do you know that Reece's has a cereal now? There's also a smores cereal. You gotta be kidding me. Bill Cosby once joked that he fed his kids chocolate cake for breakfast because it seemed like a good breakfast food. I don't think he was wrong.

Pizza bagels, pfft. I'm sticking with my 2,000,000 calorie Burger King omelet sandwich.

Upper class and middle class wannabe upper class Americans finally have an option to drive something bigger than that Hummer they are currently sporting. The new 2006 consumer line tanks are running off the line.

Bigger is better and nothing can be more true when your dropping your kids off at school in one of these babies every other parent is just soooo jealous of your ride. And do you think anyone is going to cut you off when your barreling down the highway at the top speed of 60mph. Sure, they could, and you could also barrel over them at the next red light.

Other features include the ability to talk on your cell phone all you want and not have to worry about getting pulled over by the cops. How will they know what you are doing? There are no windows. There's also plenty of extra space on the back for all your “My child is an honor student” bumper stickers and “Support the Troops” sun/rain faded yellow magnet ribbons.

So, say your Harvey Danger. What-- who's Harvey Danger? They're that band that had that one hit song “Flag Pole Sitter” about 7 years ago. Everyone went out and bought the album just to find out it sucked except for that one song.

Well, anyway, back to our pretending. Say your Harvey Danger and you just made a new album but you know no ones going to buy it because everyone is still pissed at you because of the disappointment of buying your first album. So what do you do?

Give it away for free, of course. The entire new album is available to download free of charge here. And, the most surprising part of all, it's pretty good. Definitely worth checking out.


And, speaking of long forgotten bands from the nineties, the Presidents of the United States of America have the privilege of being the first band to make a music video only using cell phone cameras. So, I guess cell phone cameras are still completely useless and stupid. You can read more about and watch the video here. Also check out their new album, as it is also pretty damn good, but not free (not legally anyway, but perhaps I've said too much, you never know where the RIAA may be listening in).