Wow, I can't believe how fast the Reality TV machine caught up with current events! Did you see the new show that's on HBO tonight:

Labels: pimps, reality tv, spitzer

FOX was excited to announce that this spring they will begin airing the reality show "Bomb Iraq." Contestants will each be given an airplane and have to bomb different cities inside Iraq. But the show will be much more strategic than just that. "Each contestant will be given a map of Iraq, a list of targets, a plane armed with 10 cruise missiles, and a single luxury item," FOX spokesperson Tom Bellamy told us, "they'll have to avoid casualties and take down the targets and be graded on their performance by celebrity judges. And the best thing... it's hosted by Bob Saget!" Contestants will gain or lose points based on their hits/killings. For example: For each building they take down they'll get 500 points, for every enemy tank/craft they'll get 400 points. But for every American Soldier killed they'll lose 1,000 points, every British Soldier they'll lose 500 points, and for every Iraqi civilian killed they'll lose 5 points. "We're excited to have another allie on our side," George W. Bush interrupted an episode of Becker to tell everyone, "and yes, I think I did misspell allie, I'm so stupid not only do I mispronounce things while I talk, I'm some how manage to misspell them too." Bob Saget is excited to take on the job as host. "It's so great FOX chose me to host, I didn't think anyone even remembered who I was," Bob Saget said to a group of journalists who stared blankly at him, "I was Danny Tanner... from Full House... the show that's rerun on TBS between two episodes of Family Matters," the press continued to stare at him, confused, "Oh well, no matter. It's still better than the job at Blockbuster I've been doing the last couple of months. Oh crap! I forgot to ask Mr. Hartwell for the week off that's being recorded, I got to go!" The show is being filmed now, but most likely won't air until May, because that's sweeps.

Bob Saget stands in front of some dead guy, just happy to be on TV

Labels: bob sagget, fox, iraq, reality tv

People gathered from around America last Saturday in New York City to protest the Joe Millionaire verdict. Protest organizers estimated that there was about 500,000 in attendance while cops said they didn't care.

It was cold, it was wet, it actually was kind of stupid, but that didn't stop the protesters from coming out.

"Well, the fact is it's time Evan Marriot heard our voice," said one protester who held a sign reading 'Pick Me Joe,' "He clearly should of chose Sara instead of Zora."

"He should of picked the girl with the bigger boobies," said a construction worker who joined the march, "the fact that he picked the frump is a disgrace to construction workers everywhere."

The group marched up times square before getting lost.

"We could of swore FOX studios were around here somewhere," said one confused guy.

The protesters finally wound up at NBC studios in Rockefeller Center and decided that it was close enough.

"They're such morons," said Conan O' Brien looking from the window of his G.E. building, "how can anyone be that dumb. Except for my fans of course." Conan then began to dance like an idiot and make weird high pitched "ow" noises for about an hour or two.

"They all look about the age of Joe Millionaire to me," said one on looker who was urinating on a near by mailbox, "they're probably just afraid of commitment."

At the end of it all Evan Marriot finally responded only by saying, "I understand what they're saying, but I respectfully disagree."

But, since it's a decision that doesn't directly affect all those protesting, he has all the right to make it without listening to them. Now, if it was a far more serous decision, and that many people protested, no one in their right mind would just write it off.... right?

Labels: iraq, joe millioniare, new york, reality tv