Parents are funny. They're against sex on TV. They want to ban violence in Video Games. They don't want people to smoke in movies. But when it comes to their own children's safety, meh... not that important.

The latest trend in children's fashions are roller shoes. These are sneakers with wheels built into the heel. This is the biggest novelty in footwear since flashing lights, but while the lights were just moronic, roller shoes are also unsafe.

All you have to do is lean back on the heel and suddenly you are on wheels instead of rubber. Some shoes do feature a button that will actually retreat the wheels from inside the shoe fully transforming it from a sneaker to roller skate, but these are unpopular and not cool enough.

As I walk around the mall, which online peddler kidzworld says these shoes are great for, I see dozens of children rolling around into each other and into my path causing me to having quickly stop in my tracks. I have to stop in my tracks because these kids are to dense to pay attention to where they are going and I don't really know if they could suddenly stop if they were to try. It is human nature to lean back when you want to stop, however with these I'd suppose you'd have to lean forward.

Another major question: Isn't it hard enough to keep track of your children when they don't have wheels. Why are you making it harder for yourself? Actually, I suppose the answer to this is quite simple, parents don't really bother at all to keep track of their kids anymore. They just drop them off at the mall Friday night with their friends and leave them there for hours with a cellphone so they can keep tabs. Unless your using that cellphone as a GPS tracker a cellphone isn't going to tell you where your little ones are. And it's not as if a cellphone is going to keep your kids from rolling down the steps and breaking their face.

O course, if something happens to the kid they'll of course blame everyone but themselves. They'll blame Tony Hawk for showing our kids such dangerous tricks. They'll blame the mall for not having a “Danger: Steps” sign. They'll blame the media for allowing sex on TV. They'll blame the stores for selling such dangerous shoes.

Note: I also just think these shoes are just plain ol' dumb.

“STOOP-ID! YOU’RE SO STOOP-ID!”

There was no one I found funnier than Mr. Weird Al Yankovic at the age of 9. The Hawaiian shirts, the crazy hair, the moustache… how could I not find this guy funny? So, of course when I heard there was a “Weird Al” movie coming out I had to be first in line to see it… at the video store. I would of loved to have seen it in the theatre, but the movie tanked so badly they pulled it out faster than… actually I was going to make a pretty crude joke here, but it was definitely inappropriate and beneath the high level set by me for this website… boobie.

The plot is simple… very simple. Al plays George, a guy who has a wild imagination and because of this keeps getting fired from his job. But, after his Uncle wins a less than profitable (that would be unprofitable for you vocabulary fans) TV station in a poker game, he gets a job as the station manager. Here he puts his imagination to full use, creating a plethora of original programming.

Shows he creates include Wheel of Fish, Midgets doing news, a show where we can learn to make plutonium out of common household items, and a show featuring a man attempting to teach poodles to fly by throwing them out a window to their certain death. Now, while in this world these shows would not even be picked up by G4, and PETA would probably be all up in that dead poodle thing, these shows strive on Al’s channel making a network a major success.

Of course other networks are not happy with this, and one networks decides to buy the station and instead of picking up it’s higher rated and obviously superior programming it decides to just obliterate it (gee, I wonder why am I being reminded of G4 again?). When a telethon is created to raise money to save the station, Michael Richards gets kidnapped by the rival network where he spends his time playing guessing games (“Something Orange…”). Luckily Rambo Al with his stapler weapon and the cast of Wheel of Fish manage to “Supplies” them and save the day.

Now, of course, the entire plot is just a setup so “Weird Al” can do parodies of TV commercials, shows, and movies, but they are all hilarious and worth every plot hole.

The movie stars a pre-Seinfeld Kramer and a pre-Nanny Nanny. This movie was actually somewhat known for this for a while when advertising it on Comedy Central in it’s countless reruns on the station. Of course neither of these people are doing jack squat these days and therefore it’s not even worth mentioning. Which I just did. Which shows you how much this website is worth in my mind. The movie also stars Victoria Jackson, but she’s never done anything worth while, so she’s not worth mentioning either.

When being made by the now defunct movie studio Orion, they thought this was going to be the biggest movie since Robocop (Robocop being the only hit the studio ever had) and that Al was going to be a star. But, Al was no match for Robocop and after horrible reviews and lack of ticket sales it was kicked from theatres and thrown into the waste land known as non-premium cable TV where it has developed somewhat of a cult following.. Before being released on DVD, out of print VHS copies were sold on eBay for over $100 a pop. These copies are now worth less the Orion movie studio itself.

While everyone's cashing in on this Superbowl frenzy we though we here at cheesegod.com would too. We assigned three of our members to watch the superbowl and provide post game anaylsis. Here what they thought:

Lance Froman Pfft. I wouldn't watch the Superbowl if you paid me to. A bunch of grown men playing a little kid's game, so pathetic. Instead I spent my time last night playing World of Warcraft, and it's only $14.99 a month.
Nick Crudpants Superbowl, nope sorry, not this guy. Why all you normals (that's what I call you plain people out there who aren't as hot as me and don't wear vests) are watching the superbowl I visit your houses and hit on the lonely women. Oh yeah, if anyone here is married to this tall brunette chick and you find my pocket comb can you send it me? Thanks a lot.
Mr. Fish Well I went over my buddies house to watch the game yesterday, I wanted to make I was there early so as to miss any of the pregame coverage, plus the Lifetime channel was having an Unsolved Mysteries marathon I thought we could check out during the slow times. But when I get there my buddy's all like yelling at me because it's only 6am and he's still sleeping. He doesn't let me inside the house. So I climbed in through his window and drank all his beer, watered his flowers with my own special fish liquid, and I may have accidentally drew mustaches on all his wedding photos. I passed out after that, I may have woken up at some point during the game because I seem to remember seeing a guy in a striped shirt, but I might of just wandered into Lady Footlocker nude again.

Remember folks, if you'd like to find out more about the members of our community check out their profiles in the member section.