Shigero Miyamoto, creator of Mario, Donkey Kong, Zelda, Pikmin, and the goofy
grin, received a standing ovation at E3 when he came onto the stage. He received
an even bigger applause when he announced Nintendo's revolutionary plans for the next
system: Ass control.

"Too often a players bottom feels left out. It will go numb, or fall asleep, with
boredom," Miyamoto told the core of Nintendo enthusiasts, "Now, with our
revolutionary controller all will see the Nintendo difference. The difference
you feel when you sit."

The crowd, all Nintendo fan boys/girls who had to sign a loyalty oath before
being allowed in, took well to the news.

"Oh my god! Oh my god," said one 35 year old male wearing a Pac Man Fever T-shirt.
He told us his name but we decided not to print it because we felt sorry for his
family and possibly and friends, if any, he might have.

The revolutionary controller will feature a two crevis designed to snuggly fit
each buttcheak. Nintendo showed off a new version of bike racing game Excitebike.
Depending how you lean on your butt, the character in game will respond when
turning.

Meanwhile Sony announced 536 new games for the PSP, all poorly made ports of older
games. Sony also addressed the battery problem of the PSP by introducing a one
foot wide add on pack which will increase the battery life by 13%. Also, they
said they will increase their warranty on the system to 45 days, and promised to no longer say, "C'mon, it's a Sony system! It's suppose to break!"

Microsoft, feeling left out, also introduced a new hand held, which will run
Windows CE and be capable of displaying graphics similar to the X-Box. The demo
of Halo 2 running seemed impressive, but no one was able to play long due to
excruciating back pain from holding the 52lb handheld too long. Microsoft plans
on releasing a "strap on dolly" to help carry the load."

Labels: 536, ass, microsoft, nintendo, psp, shigeru miyamota, sony, video games, wii

By Lance Froman

This month marked the return of new episodes of Family Guy after a long hiatus.
The show aired for just three short years on FOX before due to lack of viewers...
and originality. it was canceled. But, thanks to great DVD sales and
outstanding rerun ratings, the show has finally returned to FOX.

I have to admit, it was big of FOX to admit it was wrong and bring the show back.
Family Guy suffered low ratings not just because it was another Simpson's clone,
but also because it was put in tough time slots (against Friends), and new
episodes were often aired during the summer, when no one watches TV. FOX has
obviously learned from these mistakes, since they now air Family Guy against
Desperate Housewives and are going to show most of the new episodes during this
Summer.

Perhaps the most important thing about all of this, is it gives us hope. Hope
that someday perhaps the greatest show ever aired will be able to return. That's
right, I'm talking about Doogie Howser MD!

We can get this monumental show back, we just must follow the same steps Family
Guy did:

1) Buy DVDs - the first season of Doogie Howser was just released. I
already have 3.7 copies (I had a full four, but Mr. Fish used one of the discs as
an "Ass Coaster. I hate him so.)

2) Watch it Reruns - Well, it's not in reruns anymore. I don't know why.
You'd think with 200 channels someone wouls be able to fit it in somewhere. So
instead let's watch other things Neal Patrick Harris has been in to show our
support. Like Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle, that one episode of the
Simposons.... I think he was on that show Ed once.... hmmmm.

3) Buy The Merchandise - FOX isn't showing Family Guy because it's funny,
they're showing it because they want money and they know people will buy the
T-shirts. Right now their doesn't seem to be any Doogie Howser merchandise
(believe me, I've searched eBay long and hard for a Neal Patrick Harris Doll). I
tried to make my own "I Love Doogie" t-Shirt, but the clowns at Cafepress made a
typo, and now I have a "I Love Dookie" shirt.

4) Sign The Petition - href="http://www.ipetitions.com/campaigns/Doogie_howser/">Sign it now!
Everyone will always do what people on line tell them to do!

The Star Trek Nerds Fans are raising money to fund the next season of
Enterprise themselves. Why couldn't we do the same thing? How much could it cost?
I doubt Neal Patrick Harris would demand a big salary, it's not like he's doing
anything else. He could just come to my house and act out the show while I film
it with my webcam.

I've started a collection up. So far I put in $3.26 of my own money, and after
collecting at the mall all week I've gotten it up to $4.26 (I got a dollar from
some woman by saying bringing back Doogie would be good for "The Troops") So
everyone please send me your money so we may one day enjoy our Dookie Doogie Howser.

Labels: doogie howser, fox, lance froman, neil patrick harris, star trek