Nothing about this sounds good. Lord have mercey on us all.

Ever wish you could learn the English to use in case you are attacked? And ever wish that English could be taught through some kind of weird music/exercise video?
Well, then, here you go:

Labels: japan

As I am writing this the Democratic debate in Ohio is about to start. But they're not going to ask the question that's on all our minds, "How many donuts have you bought?"

The NY Times, the newspaper known for his high quality story telling and McCain smearing has answered that very question.

Here's your breakdown of just how much of their campaign money has each canidate spent at Dunkin' Donuts:

Clinton: $5,950.53
Romney: $992.91
McCain: $923.70
Obama: $723.64
Edwards: $253.04
Paul: $108.07

The lesson here? I have no damn clue. I tell you one thing though, I'd think about it before you donate any more money to Ron Paul, he hardly using any of that for pastries!

Labels: 2008 election, barack obama, hillary clinton, john edwards, john mccain, mitt romney, ron paul

Just noticed this ad on top of cheesegod.com:



Forget inappropriate relationships with lobbyists, this is a much bigger story. John McCain is using freakin' black magic! Or is he just reaching out to the all importatent Salem vote?

I wonder how many conservatives are seeing this ad and thinking, "Oh, geez, I hated McCain before, but look he has a crystal ball! I must RECONSIDER!" And then they probably run to church to ask god forgiveness for going to cheesegod.com, then maybe they'll shoot a duck or something, I don't know.

Labels: 2008 election, john mccain

It's Monday! That must mean it's time for worthless talk about last night's Academy Awards Marmaduke! Yes, today's the day we look back at the past week of Marmaduke and the controversial things he's been doing.

Long time readers of cheesegod.com know that we first to express concern over the content of Marmaduke comics. As you can see here Marmaduke has been a little out there at times. This past week seems to be no exception. Check out these examples I clipped out this past week:

Labels: marmaduke

So here we have a game show with wax. Since this video already contains commentary in English I won't bother.
Enjoy!

Labels: japan, wax

So, now that Blu-Ray is without a doubt the decisive victor over in the high def format wars I thought I'd celebrate by picking up a celebratory title for myself.

After carefully weighing my options between such films as No Country For Old Men and Michael Clayton, I decided to go with the most critically acclaimed of them all, The Fifth Element. I added it to my Amazon shopping cart, clicked purchase and proceeded to patiently wait by my front door for that box with that weird curved arrow on the side to arrive.

When it finally did, I tore open the box, only to find the following:



"Had there been a sticker on Mr. Willis's face?," I thought to myself (or said out loud, maybe I talk to myself, I don't know, there wasn't anyone around to tell me if I do), "And what happened to the shrink wrap?"

Sure enough I opened it to only see:



No disc! Ha! Oh those pranksters at Amazon! Hilarious!

UPDATE 2/21:

Well, one complaint and Amazon overnighted me a replacement (complete with movie this time!). Most impressive so far. Let's see how they react when they receive the empty case I mailed back to them.

UPDATE 3/5:

An email from amazon.com has just confirmed their acceptance of my return. So all ends well. Not bad, award one point to Amazon customer service (reduce one from their shipping department).

Labels: amazon.com, blu-ray, Fifth Element

Johnston Green received a boost to his fictional campaign today when a confused and disheveled Ross Perot endorsed him for president.

"America needs to be saved from the female Clinton and the Sugar Cain." Perot told two journalists and a dog named Spike, "It is time we act, and forget about reality shows."

Johnston Green is a character on the unwatched CBS show Jericho. Why Perot was endorsing him for president is anyone's guess.

Everyone in the room seemed confused, including Gerald McRaney, the actor who plays Mayor Green.

"I have no clue. Perot called me up and said he wanted to endorse me. I wanted to refuse, but CBS said it would be good publicity," McRaney told us.

When asked why he was endorsing a fictional person for president Perot responded, "Jibba-Jabba! A fictional man, for a fictional post. There is no president, it's all a lie!"

Which, of course led to the question if the there is no president why did Perot run for the office in 1994 and 1996.

"The reason!," Perot suddenly jumped onto the podium in mid sentence, "Sometimes I wish I was also fictional." Perot then hung his head down and quietly sang Livin' La Viva Loca to himself.

It's not sure how the endorsement will effect the current presidential campaign, but experts think it might shift the all important crazy vote away from John McCain.

"I don't know," McRaney responded in response to how the elections might be affected, "All I know is that Perot smells like Moth Balls and Mr. Pib. It's going to take weeks for me to get the stink off my hands."

Labels: 2008 election, hillary clinton, jericho, john mccain, Mr. pib, Ross Perot

It's Monday! That must mean it's time for Hillary to cry so she can win tomorrow Marmaduke! Yes, today's the day we look back at the past week of Marmaduke and the controversial things he's been doing.

Long time readers of cheesegod.com know that we first to express concern over the content of Marmaduke comics. As you can see here Marmaduke has been a little out there at times. This past week seems to be no exception. Check out these examples I clipped out this past week:

Labels: marmaduke

Whatever you do, don't laugh!

Labels: english, japan

Perhaps the best email I've ever received:

Labels: email, metal

Simple steps to fix a falling telephone pole:



1) Put up a new pole right next to the broken one

2) Tie the broken one to the new one with some rope.

3) Pray for the best.




Yes, this is Nassau County's tax dollars at work. Oh, this isn't temporary either, it's been like this for years.

Labels: nassau, taxes, telephone poles

It's Monday! That must mean it's time for the writer's strike to end Marmaduke! Yes, today's the day we look back at the past week of Marmaduke and the controversial things he's been doing.

Long time readers of cheesegod.com know that we first to express concern over the content of Marmaduke comics. As you can see here Marmaduke has been a little out there at times. This past week seems to be no exception. Check out these examples I clipped out this past week:

Labels: marmaduke

This is pretty crazy. Not sure how even to describe this one. I guess baseball in Japan must involve even more injuries than here in the US.

Labels: baseball, japan, tokyo thursday

Finally, the classic sitcom is being made into a movie! Looks just as zany as ever!

Labels: the happening, video, what's happening

It's Monday! That must mean it's time for American Gladiators Marmaduke! Yes, today's the day we look back at the past week of Marmaduke and the controversial things he's been doing.

Long time readers of cheesegod.com know that we first to express concern over the content of Marmaduke comics. As you can see here Marmaduke has been a little out there at times. This past week seems to be no exception. Check out these examples I clipped out this past week:

Labels: marmaduke