26	Number of Times Bush to blame 9/11 for his problems
2	Amount of times Bush expected to chuckle when Kerry calls him a "Master Debator"
8	The amount of toes on Kerry's right foot
31	Amount of times Bush will use 9/11 to justify being reelected
3	How many people will find something on this site amusing
536	Amount of times Bush will call Kerry a 'Flip Flopper'
1	How Many times Kerry will defend himself against Bush
None	How many balls John Kerry has
201,054	How many words will avoid using because he can't pronounce them
29	How many years ago the Vietnam War ended
11	The percentage of people that will base their vote on the Vietnam war
1	How many times Bush will use 9/11 to justify getting Dan Rather fired (he's a very confused little boy)
3	How many times Kerry's wife will make him plug Heinz ketchup during the debate
2486	The amount of lies Dick Cheney will tell
2487	The amount of lies the American people will beileve
0	How many things that will be accomplished tonight

Labels: 2004 election, debates, george bush, john kerry

A couple of months ago some hoped that John would choose John as his running mate.
But today John named John as his running mate for the 2004 election.

"Together, I and John will take America Back," John told reporters including Jon of the daily show and me, Jon of cheesegod.com.

John had discussed with John about being his running mate, but unfortunately John did
not support John. So instead, after placing a phone call to John last night, John
chose John as his running mate,"

But the White house is already firing back.

"John is John's second choice. He wanted John. But John turned John down. Now John
is stuck with John," a non-John spokesperson told me, Jon.

When John was asked how he was going to get to his first appearance with John since
naming the John & John ticket, John said, "Well, It's like John sang, 'I'm Leaving On
A Jet Plane'"

"Now, I would love to talk about John more," John told us, "But I need to use the
John."

John and John of They Might Be Giants had no comment.

Labels: 2004 election, john edwards, john kerry, john mccain, they might be giants

Florida Democratic voters were confused once again as they mixed up the top new stories and chose Janet Jackson's Boob to oppose Bush in November's election.

Old confused seniors and the stupid alike goofed at the voting polls, proving florida still can't get anything right... except Tropicola Orange Juice, a fresh start to a fresh day. Yes, nothing beets a tall glass of Tropicola OJ, proud sponsor of cheesegod.com.

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Although Janet Jackson nor her breast were running, the people became so confused by Jackson sharing headlines with Democratic hopefuls they naturally became confused and couldn't tell the difference.

Officials were stunned this could happened. After the major boo-boo four years ago they thought they had gotten everything set up to go right this time. Confusing butterfly ballets were replaced with tiny little switches in a secluded booth.

"Everything seemed like it would go better this time," one official told us, "The only negative events were foresaw was the some seniors confusing the booth as a port-a-toliet. But that only happened twice."

Citizens have felt embarrassed since the debacle, but some reassurance from former President Clinton on Thursday when he endorsed the body part.

"Finally," Clinton told the American public, "a reason for me to pay attention to politics."

Labels: 2004 election, janet jackson, orange juice