Hello folks!

I will be soon be departing for another hiatus for about a week. Sorry to disappoint all my loyal followers. Anywho, to help make this time apart less traumatic I've decided to share with you some MP3s I've had hanging around the warehouse. Enjoy friends!

You can click on the little speaker next to each title to play the song, or just right click and choose "Save as" to save the song to your computer. For those of you on macs without a two button mouse you know what to do... and get a second button you crazy people!

Back To The Future - This was my attempt to make a techno/disco version of the Back To The Future Song.

Toxic - Since the beginning of Britney Spears's career cheesegod.com has been trying to bring her down, and judging by the events of her life over the last year or two, I think it's safe to say we succeeded. This was my attempt to improve one of her songs. While I'm not going as far as to say this version is good, I'll definitely says it's better than her version.

Cosby VS The Simpsons - Back in 1990 there was much controversy when FOX decided to move The Simpsons from Sundays to Thursdays against The Cosby Show. I did not make this song, it's from Z100. The only thing I had to do with this song is that I happen to find it on an old audio cassette of mine, as is evident by it's lo-fi sound.

George Bush - A song made from speeches by George Bush during his 1988 reelection campaign. This is also from Z100. Don't let the last two songs fool you, Z100 sucked back then and sucks even more now.

Yankee Ad - Consider this that extra on the DVD that no one will ever watch, but they put it there anyway so you feel like you're getting more bang for your buck. This is the music I composed in about 3 seconds with Garage Band in 2004 for the Yankees/Visa Ad spoof on this website.

Enjoy the music! I'll see you all in a week or so!

Labels: back to the future, britney spears, george bush, mp3, music, simpsons, yankess

I get a lot of emails, with a lot of questions. The most asked question unfortunately has to be, "Wouldn't you like to impress your girlfriend?" But the second most question without a doubt is, "Cheesegod, is civilization declining or inclining? Please show your work." Well, how can I ignore my adoring fans' questions? So here is my answer... to the second question... I'll try that "enhancement" drug later.

Friends, civilization is on the decline. The proof is all around us. Want a specific one? How about the theme song for the New York Mets?

In 1962 the Mets played their first game and introduced their first theme song. Meet the Mets is a nice little ditty imploring fans to watch the new team in NY, featuring such words as "Meet the Mets, Meet the Mets, come to the park and greet the Mets."

In 1986 the Mets were on their way to a World Series victory, and they needed a song to go along with it. Lets Go Mets Go was a song that featured such cleverly written lyrics as "Where there's a Mets Man, you'll find a Mets Fan," and choruses of "Do it" and of course the nonsensical "Lets Go Mets Go" chant... the extra Go is there for extra support I suppose.

Now, 20 years later, the Mets are well on their way to another playoff appearance, and I suppose they felt they needed another theme song to reflect on these times. So the Hip Hop tune "Our Team, Our Time." This song features lyrics that state such ingenious observations like, "We score the runs, runs. We get the hits, hits."

And here is your lovely audio clip, for you to enjoy. You can hear the world getting dumber as the song progresses. Press the play button to start the audio clip.

Labels: mets, mp3

Right now on Weird Al's myspace you can download a song of his new ALbum for free."Don't Download This Song" is about stealing music (duh). Also check out the banned "Your Pitiful" while there. Finally, myspace ia no longer a total piece of crap! Now it's just, like, 99.99% or something. Here the linky:
Wierd Al's My Space page.
Purchase the new ALbum here

UPDATE:
A better quality version can be found here and the music video currently be watched here.

Labels: mp3, myspace, weird al

Plagued by the decline of intelligence of the people in the United States, Border's Books has announced they're dropping books from their stock.

"They're just taking up valuable space from the CDs, DVDs, and puppy calendars," we were told by Border's stock boy, Steve Guttenburg, who we suspect is the very same person who starred in the Police Academy movies, just older... and more pathetic (if possible) now.

Border's will still cary books-on-tape because they're the only type of book that doesn't require reading.

"I try reading a book, but after the first page I'm bored to tears. Like I really care what a character may be thinking or feeling," books-on-tape advocate Tony Catsup told us.

Some however fear this is just another nail in the coffin for an intellectual society.

"This is just another nail in the coffin for an intellectual society," some person whose good for us simple Arrested Development fans. (NOTE: I just reread this article I had typed almost 3 years ago. I have no idea what this last sentence means, or was suppose to mean. Oh well. -ED 9/19/07)

Some books will still be sold just for novelty purposes. People will be able to buy them so they can put them on their shelves so they will look sophisticated to those who visit them.

Border's will also use some of it's now bookless space for it's new MP3-on-DVDs.

"We're not sure what a MP3-on-DVD is, but it's got both DVD and MP3 in the name. And that's what the kids are into these days. That and GameBoy... and Pokemon... Or is that still cool?," Guttenburg told us, "Is it? Hello? Are you listening to what I'm saying? I'm asking you aquestion? Can you stop writing what I'm saying for one second and tell me if pokemon still popular. Why are you even still writing what I'm saying for anyway? It's not like you're going to put any of this in your article!"

Labels: books, borders, dvd, Gameboy, mp3, Pokemon, steve guttenburg

echnology is always improving. And what better
technology out there right now then the mp3 player. Of course there's all those
medical type equipments and such too, but this story isn't about that.

Rio used to have the overall market share of MP3 players, way back in the golden age
of 1999. But then other companies started competing, and that can never can be good
for business, just look at Jack in the Box. Then Apple made an mp3 player that
didn't suck, and that was the end of that... but, unfortunately, not the end of this
story.

Rio is back on the market with an MP3 player so small it's sure to turn heads, at
least it would if it were viewable. The new Rio MP-87658.0g is not only so small it can
fit inside a match book holder, if such a thing exists, it also is capable of holding
45,095,9832,125.9 songs of CD quality (this is if each song is only 90 seconds long
and encoded at a bit rate of 18kps, you may say that's not CD Quality, but that's your
opinion. I personally can't tell the difference between CDs and a mp3 of this
quality).

A Rio spokesperson told us it also might have games you can play on it. They're not
sure yet, even though the MP3 has an LCD screen, it's too small for anyone too see if
games are actually available on it.

This MP3 player sounds all fine and dandy, and I highly recommend it. The only
drawback so far is that it may be a little fragile. In fact, about two thirds of all
players will break if you push the buttons on the front a little too hard. The
player is not compatible with AAC or WMA, so if your one of those losers who actually
pay for songs you download you are out of luck. Also the player is too small to use
headphones with, an adapter is planned, but has not yet been released. Oh, and one
last thing, I think Rio went of business years ago.

Labels: apple, ipod, mp3, rio

Refusing to admit being outdone in any sort of way, Microsoft Launched it's own Music Store last week. Unfortunately, the ease of use is nonexistent. MSN just doesn't get it.

After purchasing each song you must enter in a serial number and register it (or in their words, "activate it") within 30 days of first play or else the song will cease to function. Also each song will automatically put a shortcut in your taskbar, desktop, and start menu. It will also run in the background when you start your PC and have to be shut off manually in the bottom right corner of your screen.

If it annoys you to have to turn off all your music files every time you go on the computer, don't worry, all the files will crash by themselves if you just wait a couple of minutes. Of course for each file that crashes you will get that annoying error box asking you if you want to send a report to Microsoft about it. Sending the report, of course, will just result in a web page loading up blaming the crash on a third party driver.

Meanwhile Microsoft is warning users to update their music files to latest version or they may be taken over by a hacker. And hackers have a crappy bitchin' taste in music (edited by hacker i-m-so-kewl). It is also advised that you reformat your mp3 player each time you transfer a new song onto it for best results.

Apple, owner of song selling leader iTunes, has said they will stay on top by continuing to offer mediocre products at expensive prices... but that are extremely stylish.

Note: I would love to take credit for creating the above image, but I actually stole it from here.

Labels: apple, bill gates, itunes, mp3, msn music, windows

Well, Napster is back! Kind of. We all use to love Napster. Who could forget downloading our favorite Metallica tunes, not because we actually liked the band, but because it was fun to piss them off.

The new Napster service is just like the old... except it looks different... and is costs money now... and it doesn't have an endless selection of songs.

Users will now be expected to pay as much as $1 per download. Each song will be guaranteed top quality with excellent download speeds.

But what about all that stuff the new Napster can't give us? Like those never finished, half downloaded songs. Or those songs that were mislabeled, so instead of downloading what you thought was the new Dave Mathews song turned out to be Ninja Rap by Vanilla Ice. What about all those computer Viruses found on other services like Kazza and Morpheous? Not to mention the spyware! And what about the porno? Dear god, won't someone please think of the porno!

Well there's no need to run in the corner in cry! Because crying over something like that would be stupid. But also, because Cheesegod.com is pleased to announce Crapster, the crappy alternative to Napster.

With Crapster we guarantee a wide assortment of viruses. Ones Norton hasn't even heard of! Plenty of Spyware, so those spammers will always have access to you! And don't forget the porno! Everything on crapster that's not a virus, will be porno! We will also randomly kick users off the server so you'll never be able to finish downloading that huge file.

Crapster will be cheap at the low price of $9.94 per month, or 99 cents for a la carte downloading. So sign up mow, before it signs up for you!

Labels: mp3, napster, porn