Just watched the Modern Marvels about Fast Food Tech on that there History network. A couple of things stand out to me.

First, an "expert" said that more people are eating Mexican food because they see it contains lettuce, tomatoes, and tortillas and think it's healthy. What? Anyone who's stupid enough to think Taco Bell is good for them probably deserve the healthy problems they are probably going to get. Let me give all our readers a helpful hint about food, if it makes you have explosive diarrhea, that's your body telling you it wants the food the hell out of it. If the food looks like gonorrhea before you eat it, perhaps you should pass.

Also, what's the History Channel's obsession with aligning food up. Before every commercial break is a fact about how if you put every French fry sold at McDonald's side by side it would wrap around the earth 20 times, or if you stacked up every pita from Taco Bell it'd be taller than the Empire State Building. Is this the only way we can measure how much food a retailer sells? When White Castle places an order with their distributer do they just ask for a couple of cases? Or do they instead ask for enough pickles to fill a kiddie pool?

By the way, their is really nothing on TV to watch anymore. Silly writers strike.

Labels: history channel, mcdonalds, taco bell, white castle

RANT:

Another week, another recall. It seems these days there is no toy or no food safe enough to eat. Whether it's finding out that the frozen pizza last night might of just given you e coli or Anderson Cooper showing off the asbestos he has floating around in his blood, everything in the media is making us scared of everything. It has come to the point where just approaching the frozen food section of Target makes me start to shake and break out in a cold sweat.

Choosing an item to eat is like spinning the roulette wheel of incurable diseases. Are Bubba burgers still safe to eat, or will I find out tomorrow that they've been injected with lead paint. What about Digiorno's? Is that going to give me herpes? Maybe I'll just stick with the White Castle, sure it'll give me diarrhea, but at least that's all it'll give me... I hope.

Perhaps I'm better off just buying a cow, some chickens, and growing my own crops. Of course the ground is so polluted and the feed for the animals is probably tainted. I'd likely be no better off. That and I'm lazy. I don't even want to clean up after my dog, forget a damn cow.

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TV:
Last night's Simpson's opened up with a joke about those annoying TV bugs that advertise upcoming shows across the lower third of the TV screen.

It's been done before (twice just by The Simpson's itself, once, quite brilliantly, during the Simpson's Movie) but never this violently. A series of show advertisements came on across the screen as Marge put a gruesome end to each, including sticking House's Hugh Laurie in a microwave, then feeding him to Homer as part of a loaf.

I was hoping one of the show bugs Marge destroyed would be Family Guy, which featured a similar gag a couple of weeks earlier. On Family Guy, a bug for The Simpson's was attacked by Quagmire. He raped Marge and then murdered the rest of the Simpson's family. Nothing funnier than rape. This segment didn't air in the US, although I hear it did in Canada. Sorry Canada.

By the way, why can't FOX ever air the Simpson's Halloween special earlier than a week after Halloween? Even with FOX losing the rights to half the baseball postseason this year, they still can't seem to get this show on in time. Stupid Red Sox.

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QUOTE:

"Man, you're like school during the summer. No class."
-Rudy, from Fat Albert.

Labels: bubba, burgers, Canada, e coli, family guy, fat albert, food, pizza, simpsons, white castle

Gatoraid was accidentally invented when a scientist put too much water, and not enough mix into his Koolaid. Also, despite popular belief, there isn't actually any alligator in Gatoraid, but it was one of the most notorious serial killers of all time.

The average ant can lift 10 times it's own weight, but can not lift it's own spirits.

TV Sitcom, The Hogan Family, had nothing to do with Hulk Hogan... sorry.

ABC launched a sister station in the early nineties cleverly called DEF. It was the first major network to be targeted towards Deaf people. The programing mirrored that of ABC, but all the actors would yell their lines so all could hear. However, it caused John Stamos to lose his voice causing ABC's biggest show, Full House to go off the air for a month. ABC went bankrupt, leaving the network vulnerable to a take over from Disney.

Grossman's Hardware store was named because they sold every item in units of 144.... and the guy who owned the place always had his fingers up his nose.

Every time I go to Taco Bell, I see plenty of Tacos, but never any bells. I see a bell at Long John Silver's, but never any long johns nor any silver. One time at White Castle I saw a guy with silver teeth wearing nothing but long johns... but I think he was a tad touched in the head.

Labels: abc, ant, full house, gatorade, grossmans, hogan family, hulk hogan, john stamos, koolaid, long john silvers, taco bell, white castle