English news website The People has posted some bad jokes. But the kind of bad where you moan at them, then secretly tell them to other people later. Here are a couple of my favorites:

MAN to Waitress: "What's the duck like?" Waitress to Man: "Like chicken, but it swims, sir."

DID you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper? He sold his soul to Santa.

WINDOW blinds are a great invention - without them it would be curtains for all of us.

DID you hear about the two silkworms who had a race? Ended up as a tie.

HOW do you get five donkeys in an ambulance? Two in the back, two in the front and one on the top going Hee-haw, Hee-haw, Hee-Haw.

TWO dogs are walking down the street. First dog: "What's your name?" Second dog: "BMW." First dog: "That's a funny name." Second dog: "I know - I used to be Rover."

I WAS at a cash point the other day and an old lady asked me to help her check her balance. I didn't want to, but she insisted. So I pushed her and she fell over.

"GRANDPA, can you make a noise like a frog?" "I don't think so, lad. Why?" "Cos dad says we'll get £10,000 when you croak."

And one that only about two people in the world will get:
WHAT is the first sign of madness? Suggs coming up your drive.

Labels: english, jokes, madness