The worse Gameboy related accident yet happened earlier this week at Poky Oats
Elementary School in Hartford, CT. A Pokemon game gone wrong resulted in the
death of five children, one teacher, a custodian, and a Michael Jackson
sympathizer.

"It was horrible," said Timmy O' Toole, age 6, a witness to the event, "There was
blood everywhere. I got a stain on my shirt. My mom threw it away. It was my
favorite shirt, the one with cookie monster.... don't tell her, but I took it
back out of the trash when she wasn't looking. I sleep with it under the
covers."

Another incident, another lawsuit. Nintendo yawned it off, giving us the usual
response.

"It's a travesty and we here at Nintendo Of America express our condolences," A
Nintendo Spokesperson told us, "We always have expressed safety precautions while
playing with your GameBoy. A three foot distance between players and protective
suits, available for purchase through the official Nintendo website, should
always be utilized."

Witnesses all told of how awful the site was. Thirty three children have been
taken to mental hospitals for extended psychiatric help.

"We just hope to have our daughter back by the end of the year," a parent of one
of the children in the psychiatric hospital who wished to remain anonymous told
us... oh, what the hell, his name was John Lindermen.

The child whose Gameboy caused the ruckus, and survivor of the event, is also
saddened by the massacre.

"I can't believe it. The cops took my gameboy for evidence. How am I suppose to
catch the last Pokemon, Curdle, now? I'm going try to get my mom to buy me one
of those new green ones. They're cool, they're just like the other Gameboy but
it's... green!

Nintendo Gameboy Advance sales have not been hurt by this last event, in fact
sales have slightly risen since this the event.

Labels: death, Gameboy, john linderman, nintendo, video games