2/05/2007
Turduckenrabpigbuffcowit called a failure
In an effort to drum up their customer base, The Biscuit Barrel of South Carolina wanted to add a new and revolutionary item to there menu.
“Basically the Turduckenrabpigbuffcowit is a combination of many different animals,” the owner of Biscuit Barrel, John Fingersworth told us, “It's a rabbit stuffed into a chicken, stuffed into a duck, stuffed into a turkey, stuffed into a pig, stuffed into a cow, stuffed into a buffalo... I think there's some venison in there tooo, but I don't remember where we stuffed that.”
Despite sounding delicious, the reaction to the new dish has not been positive from all. So far 18 Biscuit Barrel patrons have been hospitalized.
“We put that damn thing in the oven for 28 hours, and that damn chicken in there still didn't cook all the way. I don't see how that's my fault,” Fingersworth told us.
But not all of the 18 customers were put there because of salmonella poisoning. Three customers suffered what doctors have described as “instant clogged arteries.” Another two people were taken sick with polio.
“That's just dumb. You can't get polio from eating Turduckenrabpigbuffcowit. Everyone knows that,” Fingersworth assured us as he stirred a 52 gallon vat of grits, “That's just the hollywood lovin', blue state, liberal, pro-gay marriage, anti-KKK, Obama voting idiots trying to pin it on us true Americans.”
Perhaps it's for reasons like that the Biscuit Barrel is still featuring the Turduckenrabpigbuffcowit on their menu.
“We need something to set us apart from that lousy Cracker Barrel up the street, and the Cracker Barrel two blocks west of here, and the one down on maple, and the 32 locations they have on I-95.”
Fingersworth assured us no one else will be getting sick, as they are being careful to cut around the uncooked chicken parts.
“Basically the Turduckenrabpigbuffcowit is a combination of many different animals,” the owner of Biscuit Barrel, John Fingersworth told us, “It's a rabbit stuffed into a chicken, stuffed into a duck, stuffed into a turkey, stuffed into a pig, stuffed into a cow, stuffed into a buffalo... I think there's some venison in there tooo, but I don't remember where we stuffed that.”
Despite sounding delicious, the reaction to the new dish has not been positive from all. So far 18 Biscuit Barrel patrons have been hospitalized.
“We put that damn thing in the oven for 28 hours, and that damn chicken in there still didn't cook all the way. I don't see how that's my fault,” Fingersworth told us.
But not all of the 18 customers were put there because of salmonella poisoning. Three customers suffered what doctors have described as “instant clogged arteries.” Another two people were taken sick with polio.
“That's just dumb. You can't get polio from eating Turduckenrabpigbuffcowit. Everyone knows that,” Fingersworth assured us as he stirred a 52 gallon vat of grits, “That's just the hollywood lovin', blue state, liberal, pro-gay marriage, anti-KKK, Obama voting idiots trying to pin it on us true Americans.”
Perhaps it's for reasons like that the Biscuit Barrel is still featuring the Turduckenrabpigbuffcowit on their menu.
“We need something to set us apart from that lousy Cracker Barrel up the street, and the Cracker Barrel two blocks west of here, and the one down on maple, and the 32 locations they have on I-95.”
Fingersworth assured us no one else will be getting sick, as they are being careful to cut around the uncooked chicken parts.
Labels: blue state, cracker barrel, food
